i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
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I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
try to milk me bitch
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