We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
