Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
