I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
