Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
