I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
