Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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