so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
