i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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