I wanna bring you to show and tell
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
