I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
its not stalking. its research.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Congratulations! We have a period
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