I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
