im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
