the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize