walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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