does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize