wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
