Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
