4 words: hood of his car
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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