I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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