Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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