I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
