I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
