i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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