It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
