please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Randomize
