im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
