I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
