just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I am naked and annoyed.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
