Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
