Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
