11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
