So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
