Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
