he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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