i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
