I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
