biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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