i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
