like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
