remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
