the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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