so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
