i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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