hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
