YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
