It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize