This dress was meant to end up on your floor
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
