your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize