"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
