Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
