would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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