went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
my liver is dry heaving
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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