I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
