So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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