oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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