those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize